Thankful

I try to stay fairly neutral on my opinions on my blog, but sometimes I feel the need to post something with a more spiritual feel, so if you’re the type of person that’s “not into that”, I ask that you please disregard this posts. I’m not going to apologize for my faith, because that’s a part of who I am. God has helped me through so many things in my life, and through the tough times I’ve been through.

I seem to forget all the struggles I’ve been through, and when new problems arise, it automatically becomes the center of my focus.

I need to start being thankful for the things I have and how far I’ve come. It’s easy to blame yourself for all the bad things that have happened in your life, and even easier to blame it on someone else. What if you just let it go? Just forgive the past and move on. That’s what I’m trying to do. It’s one of the most difficult things to do in life, forgive yourself or someone else for mistakes made. Your heart seems to dwell on every transgression and you replay scenes in your head. Sometimes, you need to learn that the past is in the past, you can’t fix things, and you just have to step up and deal with the consequences. Move forward.

I had another sleepless night last night, staying up worrying about problems that I magnified by tens of thousands, solely because I chose to linger on the details. I woke up pretty early this morning, mostly because I couldn’t force myself to sleep anymore.

My initial reaction after nights like this is to pick up a Bible and start reading where I left off last. It was the story of King Hezekiah in 2 Chronicles. I don’t know at what point in the text that I came to my conclusion, but I thought “Wow, I should really be thankful for the things I have”. It’s amazing, right, how the answers seem to come out of nowhere?

Except I know better.

You can’t do everything on your own. Sometimes, you just need to call out for help. You need to be thankful for the things you have, because there’s no point in looking at life in a negative sense. It’s something I have to remind myself daily: stay positive.

I had four different patients on Sunday apologize to me for going off on me, or crying, or lashing out. I knew their problems weren’t my fault. It’s human to cry and be stressed out. I know, I’ve been there, I told them so. That sort of tension you don’t know what to do about, that builds up and you have no release, the only logical thing to do is cry. We’ve all been there, right? It reminds you that things are so real.

I keep my motto in reassuring them, “If I took home everything everyone said and did to me, I’d be a nervous wreck.” Some days are harder than others.

You have to stay positive. Yeah, it’s harder than it sounds, but you just have to push through.

Those are my thoughts for today. *Steps off soapbox*

-Hojo